Getting the last word in: obituaries as an election art form

Chicago (AFP) – A few days after Barry Kreiter’s death, his obituary appeared online containing two signs of the times — a link to watch his service online and an appeal to mourners over their choice of president in the US election.

Kreiter, a commercial property inspector in Chicago, died unexpectedly of myocarditis, or heart inflammation, at the age of 63 on October 25, so his obituary wasn’t planned in advance.

But his daughter Rachel said it was a perfect reflection of a keen Democratic supporter who worked the phones for Joe Biden’s campaign in his spare time and door-knocked for local Congresswoman Lauren Underwood.

“We never had a conversation about what he would want in an obituary,” Rachel told AFP. “This was a decision that my mother and sister and I made because we knew that was what was important to him.

“I can’t imagine a bigger disservice to my father’s memory than having to go to his funeral and a few days later seeing Trump reelected.”

The obit that Rachel Kreiter wrote for her father ended by saying that “contributions can be made to help remove Donald Trump from office and elect Democrats on Nov. 3rd.”

According to Kay Powell, former obit editor at The Atlanta Journal-Constitution and founding member of the Society of Professional Obituary Writers, political appeals in paid obits are nothing new, but they seem to increase during an election year.

“Family written death notices are an American art form. Families can put whatever they want in them, and they do,” Powell said.

“Even back in 1996, when (Bill) Clinton faced (Bob) Dole, I saw those popping up in family written death notices. So, at least since 1996 I’ve been noticing it and it’s usually more around an election year.”

In the era of President Trump, passions are especially high, which translates to more political messages in tributes.

– A parting shot –

“In lieu of flowers please don’t vote for Mr. Joseph R. Biden Jr.,” read the obit for Patricia Wiggins, a great-grandmother of 13, from Auburn, New York, after her death on September 8.

Others get more specific, like the recent obit for Vietnam War veteran Mark Schroeder, which took Trump to task for reportedly referring to American war dead in a cemetery in France as “suckers” and “losers.”

The last passage of Schroeder’s obit read “Mark Schroeder was a lot of things. He was a father, a hero, a best friend, a teacher, a brother and sometimes a real son of a b****.

“But one thing he was not, Mr. Trump, was a sucker or a loser. He was a proud veteran til the day he died.”

Other recent obits include political messages related to the Covid-19 pandemic, like the one by the widow of David Nagy, a 79-year-old Texas man who died of coronavirus on July 22.

In it, Nagy’s widow Stacey took a direct shot at Trump and Texas governor Greg Abbott.

“The blame for his death and the deaths of all the other innocent people, falls on Trump, Abbott and all the other politicians who did not take this pandemic seriously and were more concerned with their popularity and votes than lives,” she wrote.

Etiquette expert Diane Gottsman, who runs the Protocol School of Texas, said political messages may be more common this year, but that doesn’t always make them appropriate.

“We have a unique set of circumstances with unique leaders, and we are more prone to voice our political opinions today. That said, it doesn’t make it correct,” Gottsman said.

“Whether they had a fondness for the deceased or a very close personal connection, that’s a lot to ask someone — to change their voting preference because someone passed away.”

But Powell disagreed, saying often it reflected who the person was.

“People want their obits and deaths notices to be a true and accurate reflection of their life and the people they were,” she said.

“If a strong political feeling was a part of it, then it is natural for that to be included, just as it is that they loved dogs or were a bird watcher. It’s part of who they were.”