Florida Man: a year in eccentricity, gators and crime
Where there is a Florida Man story, an alligator is not far away — here is one in a canal at Everglades Holiday Park in Fort Lauderdale, Florida in April 2019 (RHONA WISE)
<p>Miami (AFP) – There is a Florida Man Twitter account, and for good reason — the Sunshine State seems to be the scene of some of the wackiest news of any given year.</p><p>Thanks to the marvels of the internet, the exploits of "Florida Man" — a wayward regular Joe, or a clumsy criminal — are the stuff of social media legend. Their tales go viral in a hot second.</p><p>Of course, the abundance of wild animals — we are looking at you, alligators — help a lot.</p><p>Here are a handful of zany stories that came out of Florida in 2019, compiled from police and local news reports:</p><p></p><p>- Beware fast food outlets -</p><p></p><p>Many of us like to grab food or a drink on the run — cars have drink holders for a reason, right? But in Florida, caveat emptor.</p><p>In January, a man found a World War II era grenade and put it in his truck. But then he decided he needed to run for the border — to make a stop at Taco Bell, that is. </p><p>When he finally decided the grenade might be more pressing than his tacos, he called the 911 emergency line. Cue the bomb squad — and a lot of questions about the guy’s priorities.</p><p>In April, Starbucks was the scene of some more serious drama. </p><p>Police arrested a man who loudly proclaimed himself "The Saint" and told patrons sipping their lattes that a "turtle army" would destroy them. </p><p>He then marched into a police department in the town of Indialantic, near Melbourne, and yelled at an employee. He was charged with disturbing the peace.</p><p></p><p>- Crime stranger than fiction -</p><p></p><p>In January, a man was arrested on suspicion of drug possession. When police found three syringes in his rectum, he claimed ignorance, saying he had no idea how they got there. Ummm…..</p><p>Also that month, a man threatened to kill his neighbor with "kindness." Sounded innocent enough, until the man pulled out a machete with the word "kindness" written on it. </p><p>He was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. His neighbor survived, with only a minor cut on his hand.</p><p>In August, a man was arrested for castrating another man — badly. The pair met on a fetish website, eunuch.com. A camera was set up to record the procedure.</p><p>But the victim ended up bleeding heavily, and the suspect said he had learned his craft… growing up on a farm.</p><p>The suspect was charged with a felony for illegally practicing medicine resulting in bodily injury. </p><p>And in September, a couple arrested for riding bicycles while under the influence of alcohol… undressed and began having sex in the back of the police car that was taking them to the station.</p><p>They were charged with the DUI — and exposing "sexual organs."</p><p></p><p>- Animal kingdom -</p><p></p><p>Florida makes people do crazy things, especially when there is an animal involved. </p><p>In May, during an early-morning traffic stop, a female passenger pulled a baby alligator out of her yoga pants when the officer asked her what she had. </p><p>As it turns out, she also had dozens of baby turtles in a backpack.</p><p>That same month, a python ended up in a Florida man’s toilet — the true stuff of nightmares. The man ended up with a bite on his arm.</p><p>In July, a 75-year-old man battled with an eight-foot (2.5-meter) alligator to save his daughter’s golden retriever. The man kicked the reptile in the snout and ran to safety.</p><p>The following month, a similar drama: a man hears a ruckus outside his home and rushes out to see an alligator with his chocolate Labrador retriever in its mouth. The man pried the gator’s mouth open and saved the dog.</p><p>Moral of the story: beware roving alligators.</p><p></p><p>- Super meta -</p><p></p><p>In March, the interwebs got in on the Florida Man fun. You’ve heard of the Ice Bucket Challenge — this was the Florida Man Challenge.</p><p>Type "Florida Man" and your birthday into a search engine and see what comes up as the craziest news from that day.</p><p></p><p>- POTUS joins the ranks -</p><p></p><p>The state earned one more Florida Man this year: none other than President Donald Trump, who ditched his residency in New York to make Mar-a-Lago his new home.</p><p></p>
Disclaimer: Validity of the above story is for 7 Days from original date of publishing. Source: AFP.